One Man Asks, "Why is Lobster Cheaper in Sushi Restaurants?"

My theory: to get you in the door. Perhaps they think you will come for the cheap lobster, but pay more.....

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I know the real reason...

Actually, let me just level with you. You are on "the list."

Let me explain.

See, to fuck with people, I randomly put their names on the list of Approved Lunchers. Every sushi restaurant, from the owner to the girl who wipes the wasabi of the chairs, knows that an Approved Luncher is an elite; someone who will pay more money in tips than most people spend on groceries for a week.

There is an international database of Lunchers, with pictures, assumed names, and other relevant information, which I regularly update and submit to prominent establishments. So if you walk into a sushi restaurant and they drop everything to serve you first, and give you free samples, you know...you are ROYALTY.

You are a Luncher.

Of course, they will never admit this.

"Lunchah...? Whatto izu datto?" They will say in a charming accent. But look past that disarmingly innocent smile. You can see it in their eyes. You just bought her a new Luis Vuitton bag this month. So do us all a favor. Buck up and leave a tip. 20%? No way. Don't you dare leave with less than less than a $50 tip EACH.

P.S.: You're welcome, dude. You probably forgot me, but I remember you. When I was living in Seattle, you helped me out once. I asked you your name and you gave me your business card. i just thought cheap lobster was the least I could do...

Mike Davidson - Why is Lobster Cheaper in Sushi Restaurants?